self hate

i fuck hate myself so much for my stupidity. went to borders today and you know what happened, i lost my fucking ipod! fuck! how did it happen. i put it away in my bag when i got their but when i left, i checked my bag and it was gone. not only that but yesterday was worst.

i did my web-based interview for the Disney career start program and i answered every question truthfully like you should. i was totally honest and you know what they said: we have no need for your services based on your answers. FUCK! this sucks. I've been waiting months to apply for this program and i was so excited. oh disappointment, you're never too far behind me are you? well, on the bight side, they said: you could reapply in march. great, what do i do til them.

i hate life.

i hate myself.

other than that, I've been obsessed with Sherlock Holmes. bought the all the books today, watching Sherlock Hound (it's a cute series), watched one of the movie with Jeremy Brett (don't remember the name of the movie though) and watched Dressed to Kill with Basil Rathbone. I'm in love with Basil Rathbone, he's the perfect Sherlock Holmes ever.

where have they gone?

two weeks.
two weeks have gone by and i have heard no word from anyone.
where have all my friends gone?
this is mostly my fault though because i've terminated all contact with the outside world.
so what now?

i want to see him.
to hear him.
to tell him how i felt for him.
how i still love him.

regret and loss

after meeting him, i felt confident. even enough to maybe tell him of my feelings for him. i was so full of hope that he might feel the same for me. his little gestures, the way we talked to each other: I've never had anything like this with anyone else. i wanted to tell him. i still do. but recently, it seems like he's avoiding me. well, maybe not entirely avoiding but somethings definite different since two weeks ago. simple little things he has said to me had shattered my heart and the little things he once did are gone. now that our time together is coming to an end, i feel empty.

you and I

haven't posted in a while (and by that i mean in like a month). so yesterday,the guy i like asked me if i wanted to go to the hentai night with him. i wasn't sure if he was just joking or not so i didn't know how to answer him. i asked him about it today so i guess were going to watch hentai together Friday night (that sounds like a fucking date to me). does it sound a little weird to do that? oh well. anyways, 9 MORE DAYS! fanime is so close. cusre the tension of waiting. i'm a little disappointed with the musicfest line up this tear but thats ok.

a good day ... i guess

school went by fast (probably because i only had 4 half hour classes).i was hoping to talk more to the guy i like but i just basically ended up being a delivery boy for him. walking to 6th period with ( i didn't have anymore classes i was just walking with him to his next one) he asked me to go but him something from 711 for him. so i go their and buy him a hot dog and some gummi worms and got myself a hot dog too and a twix. i get back to school, hoping to sit down and eat with him, and then find out he has a 7th period so i have to wait another half hour. school gets out and i give him his hot dog and he took my twix (bastard). he sort of complains to me about not putting any condiments on it but how the fuck was i supose to know what he wanted on it. i stay for anime club and as we all head over to the room, i look to see where he went and find out he left already to go to a street fighter tornoment. didn't even say thanks.
at anime club, we watched the 6th one piece movie because we didn't have the lecture hall because of the stupid track team, so we had club in a classroom. after the movie ended any most of the peaople left, the teacher in charge of the room put on 2 episodes of Flight of the Concords. it was so fun watching the david bowie episode!
i went how and the little boy and paul were finishing the banana bread they made and put it in the oven. then me and the little boy colored eggs for easter. i love spending time with the little boy doing things like this.
the thing that kind of made my day though was that at 6:44, i suddenly get a message from Him saying thx for getting me stuff from 711. i don't know why, but i just felt really happy.
OMG! i was just on FML and i found this one that made me laugh so hard. it seems like the sort of thing i'd do when i'm older.

Today, I woke up a little after seven. I felt sick to my stomach because last night was my bachelor party and I drank more than I ever have before. I checked my phone, and I had received 42 missed calls. It was seven o'clock pm. Today was my wedding day. FML
(LOLZ)

Dragon Soul

so today, i went with my dad to go see i love you man. that was one fucking good movie. Paul Rudd is so funny in it and so was Jason Segel. before we saw the movie, we went to In-N-Out and got some hamburgers. my burger was burnt and tasted like salt every time i bit into it and the fries were like cardboard. it was just terrible.

I also watched Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood and Dragonball Kai!
They both were amazing and i especially loved their opening and ending songs.